44. The trap of our structure
Heidi returned pallid from the meeting with the Master.
Tong waited for her on the terrace of the pavilion of the young White which she continued to occupy.
- My saber is not powerful enough in front of the Master, she says in a breath.
- What has happened asked the monk.
- Nothing extraordinary.
- So? he asked again.
The young woman spent some moments in silent, the back leaning against the wood wall.
- He has always controlled the movement… Quite simply that! … Quite simply! …. An integral control of the energy she howled… As if I were a little girl unable to leave this circle which he built around me at each one of my breathings… At each one of my movements.
She remained one moment silent.
- It is as if I was immobilized… Not being able to act and decide by myself…
- And then? Asked again the long monk.
- Then? … I have recognized that this Force which immobilizes me is inside me! … That it comes from very far… That it is part of me and leads my whole being… Here what I have perceived!
- Then? Says again Tong.
The young woman breathed loudly. She calmed the rate of the blood in her heart. She contemplated the mountains in front of her with their crests which tear the clouds and the colors of the Sky.
- Then? …. Then! …. I have a virus in me which leads the movement of my energy… and that is beyond my understanding, my will! … Here is the « Then ! » …
The long monk did not say anything any more. All that was beyond his references. But he felt the Force of the Young White in Heidi and says it to her.
- It is him which leads you to this comprehension of yourself… I feel his power in you.
- I know that it is Him which leads me… That I know it!
- So! … I must find the solution to this seizure on my energetic system and…
- you speak like Him… with his words…
- Yes, I speak like him because it is him which gave birth to me! … and I will not let myself die without doing nothing!
- So… I declare the war to this virus in me! … A war merciless! … I want to find all my independence and my Dignity back! … Not only with the words, the visions, the sensations and all the comprehensions of the universe which comes to me through « Him »…
She took again her breathing which pushed her belly against the belt of her dress.
- But it is with my body in the events of the life that I want to understand! … and the Master has just made me know that he can handle me as he wants with a constant benevolent smile of the Father who understands his child in the search of his Freedom! … WWWHHHAAAA…. What a terrible meeting under this terrible smile! she howled.
The young woman remained lengthily leaning against the wood wall, seeking to feel each one of the fibers to enter her body.
Then the Light still came in her heart and the caress of the Breath of her Angel slipped on her nape of the neck and went down to her kidneys which started again to be hot.
« You are there, she says… I feel you in all the fibers of my body .
« Yes, I am there… and do not take uumbrage at your failure with the Master, says the Voice of her Angel »
« You had said to me that I was not ready… but I would never have supposed that he was going to push so far his advantage and to block me thus against my wall of the non - knowledge of me, she says »
« All is well thus… It is me which pushed him to act with this strength »
« But why? … It was terrible! »
« What is terrible is to not know… And thus in this ignorance of yourself, you make you believe what you want… Now all is clear for you and all is well thus »
« But why you did not teach me that? … You never pushed me against my wall! »
« That was not my role because I am there to show you the Forces which are in you and to help you to like them and to make them live »
« You want to say that some others are there for this training… Those who love me less than you? »
« Yes… There are those who want to see God… and there are those who are satisfied with less than God… You need the contact with these seconds to be driven back against your wall »
« Why them? »
« They have pleasure with this blocking from where they can give birth to their importance and their necessity… They have pleasure of the servitude of the others… But they do not know it because their knowledge of them is still imperfect »
« Then, that must I do with the Master ? »
« You continue with him… You will like him more at each meeting, because you will know his pain and his tear and his weakness »
« But to cease being handled by him and to lose all my means of communication with the others… and worse my intimacy with me? »
« It is easy… You move his words in a reference which is not his »
« You can say more to me, My Only Intense Friend, she asks »
« He says « I know » because he has a structure of Master and the Master likes to know and to say that he knows… Then he absorbs the other in him because this structure has the characteristic to capture the confidence of the other which places himself in his hands… Then, even if the other knows that the Master does not know, this magic of the Universe between the two structures functions all alone and one cannot be opposed to it … It is thus the manipulator magic of Bam since the Grid has taken possession of it and occupies it almost entirely… And you can do nothing there »
« Then, how? »
« You cannot enter in combat between the two structures because all the mechanism of alienation of Bam is now based above and functions completely with that… You would not receive any help and any support… Thus you must enter your personal structure and you modify all the words and the explanations so that they can be mixed on your own structure… Thus you escape the thief of your energy and you reinforce your structure that you nourish…
Even if later you will have to destroy your structure, but you are not yet ready with that »
« I understood, my Angel… My structure? »
« You are a Mother-Heaven… Thus you bring back everything to your heart… Thus you « feel »… you « like »… you « feel again »… »
« Then I transform his « I know » by some « I feel », Isn't it… And all is changed in the exchanges between structures, Isn't it ? »
- « Yes, it is that… But in addition, there is the word « Heaven » in your structure… That means that you have always the dash to make grow »
« To grow what? »
« Everything… A man, a plant, a word, an exchange »
« Then I say and I hear « I feel » and I am always in the research to make grow… Not to bury! »
« It is that, it is that … »
« Is it for that which I am often in anger with Tong… I have the impression that he always buries all in his memory which becomes a dark cellar?
« It is that »
« Thank you »
« And now I take you in my heart; go in your action which is indispensable to measure your saber with the saber of the other… I love you »
« Me too. »
- I need action, she says gently.
- So? ….How to do? … Here everything is blocked… All the days are repeated like the one of yesterday and everything is swallowed by the same monster of indifference of the one who does not want to understand anything.
Heidi continued to make her flesh entering the wood. She sucked her force. She called « the one » whom she likes, her Angel of « now »… She waited as he had taught it to her, with her eyes in her belly… and for her interior look to play with the principal energetic points of her body that he had taught to her…
Then suddenly she stiffens. An enormous heat entered her and she could not open the eyes in front of this dazzling light impossible to face.
Then she heard the mountain sounding as a drum with the sounds that her body recorded.
- Follow him! … He is the action that you need « now »… now… now…
Tong has perceived the modification of the air and of the space, as the presence of an appalling Force… because he was afraid.
He looked at Heidi becoming radiant at each breathing and that calmed his fright.
Then he closed the eyes because the insupportable glimmer bumped into his face and he hid it between his hands.
He only heard Heidi saying: « Now I know what I must do ».
It is perhaps one hour later that he could ask her the meaning of her words.
Calmed down she smiles to him.
- I need action… He is Action…
- Who « HE »?
- But this so far Angel! … The one of the Whirlwind…
- But it is an old story!
- Nothing is old, you know it well… All is an eternal restarting because the MAN is the Man and he is locked up in a closed system that he believes to be able to push back… But it is an illusion as so often « my » Angel repeated it to me when we were sitting like now facing the eternity of Time and of the mountains.
- Then, you follow him?
- Yes, I follow him step by step… I must enter with him the movement which he creates… It is for me that he creates it… To allow me to understand me and to release me from this poison.
- But you are insane! …. This story has more than twenty five years! … And you are not inside!
- I am inside… That I am sure!
- So you will have to continue to make me the « reading »… my only friend from here.
Secret BOOK of the SHIN Family …
Whirlwind… Continuation 1.
The Pyrenean mountain dog has a green black striped livery on a large belly.
He opens wide the solid wooden leaf of the residence, type private mansion in the center of Paname… and erases his imposing stature to leave the place to the small size which I am, only just sixty years all wet with all my hairs.
Clear that I do not hold my own’s in front of him and he lets me know it by « steping aside » with the slowness of the hippopotamus which would ask the direction of the nearest MacDo to a crocodile.
- Can I examine your police card, Mister the Superintendent, before introducing you to « Mister », he says with his quiet voice, by articulating all the words, just to impose his presence well and to testify to his importance in this place.
I show him my card, that he grabs with his large fingers to check if it is not a cardboard paper imitation made in the next boozer… turns it over three times to be sure… looks at me in the eyes and checks the photo… Then, satisfied he gives it back to me with the same slowness and opens his fingers when I am about to seize it. The card falls on the floor according to the well-known mechanism of the gravitation and the terrestrial attraction.
- Oh! Sorry Mister the Superintendent…
But he does not make any movement to fold his large carcass and to collect the « Police » card which rests quietly on the waxed floor of the hall.
Me either, who continues to keep the same smile of the sympathetic guy ready to hear and to meet all the stupidities of the century.
It is clear that the Pyrenean mountain dog lets me know that I am not welcome.
And as it is the guard dog of his owner, he makes me the message on behalf of the « Professor ».
But here is a situation which will have to find a quick resolution because I have a right knee which starts to prick me… Perhaps it is this wet cold of Paname which makes an effect on my joint. As I am not masochistic, I do not keep a long time the tensions in me and I quickly release them on the gear that I have in ray in the present moment; and as gear I have the testicles of the fat slob in front of me to massage my knee which is about to leave in mid-air towards the striped futal…
- What is it, Victor?
The dog turns slowly to the young woman who descends the monumental staircase at the end of the hall.
- It is the Superintendent in charge of the investigation on the leaks of the laboratory, Miss.
- But introduce him immediately, Victor! rises up the lady.
- But Miss, it is my role to take care of the security of this house, rises up the striped waistcoat.
- Of course, Victor… Of course… Come in Mister the Superintendent. I am the niece of the Professor and also his collaborator. We will thus have to meet often … Come please… This way…
She indicates a side door on the left which opens on a small living room of reception. She holds out her frank hand to me and I step over the police card on the floor.
- But what is this? She asks by seeing it.
- Nothing, I say by taking her hand and keeping it one moment in my palm.
- But it is a police card she says !
- Yes, I say… mine.
- But… what does it make on the floor, on the parquet ?
- Nothing, I say… It is the place that your majordomo allocated to it in this house.
- But, Victor!
- Yes, Miss, he asks with the interested voice of the one who is not concerned with the situation.
- But! … she continues while bending down to collect the card.
I retain her by the hand that I tighten firmly and I say to her gently.
- it is not at you to collect it, Madam…Isn’t it Victor?
Then I draw the lady in the small living room and closes again the door on both of us.
She looks at me like an extraterrestrial.
- I do not understand anything at all that, she says.
- One only lets me know, via your majordomo, that I am not welcome in this house… Do not worry for me… Tell me rather what is your name, dear woman.
- Sophie… Dupond since my uncle Professeur is the brother of my father.
- And what do you do with your uncle, I ask?
- I have also made studies of biology and I work with him on the genes, their transformations like their mutations.
- Are these studies which fly away abroad? I ask.
- No, not all… Fortunately! … Only those which are confidential and secret for the « Defence ».
- The military Defense, I say?
- Yes… The researches concerning the constitution of new human cells from which one can make a DNA chain restart… But I encumber you with these details of professionals…
- You want to say the possibility of reconstituting another body cloned starting from a human cell…
- In short and very briefly, that could be said like that by nonprofessionals, she says without beating the bush as a direct girl… But now my turn to question, Mister the Superintendent… One has not explained anything to you of the problem? … You seem to me to discover it with me!
- It is that, my dear Sophie, I say with the same open-mindedness.
- But then how can you discover the origin of the leaks and put an end to it ? she was astonished.
- OH! … to put an end it will be easy… and to discover, I have a particular gift.
- Ah yes, which one ?
- I feel when one lies… and by follow the lies one always arrives at the truth that one wants to hide.
- Then, how do you inquire?
- Very simple. I ask questions, I look at people between them… and step by step I go towards the truth through the lie.
- And you catch the « malicious one » she laughed.
- No, I say with the disarming smile… I murder it.
There she does not laugh any more wondering where she is and which kind of police officer I am.
It is the moment chosen by a thin and nasty mister who pushes the door of the living room with a brutality testifying to an unquestionable dissatisfaction.
- But finally… What are these ways of thus entering to people?
- My uncle, says calmly the young woman… My Uncle, here is Mister the Superintendent in charged of…
- I know! … Victor told me! ….
Then he turns to me and, stiff as a one-legged marshal’s baton, he lets me know that people of good education, even if they were superintendent, are used to getting in touch with his majordomo and taking his suitabilities before presenting themselves to his house.
- Habits are done to be changed, I say with the soft voice that you know me, the one that I have before hitting.
It is still Sophie who gets out of trouble.
- But there is no problem, my uncle… We were only speaking about the case which brings Mister the Superintendent in these places.
- What have you told him, he immediately asks ?
- But « nothing » my uncle, she was astonished by the vigour of the interrogation.
- On the contrary, dear Lady… You told me « everything » and I have nothing more to do in this house, I say.
… Also I leave as quickly as I came… Mister the Professor, I greet you well.
- But what I have said to you, Sophie was astonished.
- That you are a woman who does not lie, I say…
She has red which goes up to her cheeks.
- So what can I do to help you in your inquiry, Mister the Superintendent ? she asks.
- To walk you with me in your laboratories… To speak with everybody… To interest you in everything…
… I will be next to you and will know those who lie.
- That enthrals me this research! …. It is as in a laboratory! … It is mathematical!
- But! … and me in all that, rises up the professor even more stiffened on his single leg of marshal.
- You? … You are only the stolen one… It means « nothing », I say with my more beautiful smile.
- But… I have also brought my contribution to this case which concerns me personally!
- And that you would like to control, I add with the same smile.
- What’s wrong with that! … I am at home! … It is my work! … It is my laboratory! … It is…
- What is there Sophie? … You stiffen, I say while turning me towards the young woman.
- No, it is nothing she says.
- False, I say… You are lying.
- You are mistaken, Mister the Superintendent…
- I am not mistaken… You stiffened when your uncle said « it is my laboratory ».
- Yes, she blew… That has offended me, she acknowledged the eyes on the floor.
- But finally, Mister the Superintendent, what do you take you for to question us as if we were criminals! the Professor rebells.
- Why? I repeat gently to Sophie without taking into account the interruption of his uncle.
She lifts the head up again and looks at me right in the eyes. Hers are wet. At the bottom of them there is confidence. I penetrate in this confidence and caresses it until I feel the heart young woman to palpitate gently.
Then she smiles and says gently, as one would speak with a friend by bringing to him an essential confidence with the trust of the heart.
- The laboratory is mine… It was creates by my father before his death and I am the heiress.
- But you never felt at home, isn’t it?
- But finally!!! Victor!!! the uncle shouted… Leave this man out of my house, ordered the Professor when the door was brutally open by the gorilla of service.
- It is « also » at « me » this house, my uncle, says Sophie with calm and a peace which stopped all the other movements.
I continue to send her courage in the heart through her eyes which do not leave mine.
- Victor, it is also « me »… or my fortune if you prefer… which pays « all » in this house… included your wages, Victor… Also never forget it… and go and collect the Police card of Mister the Superintendent whom you have let fall on the parquet.
I like the silence in the small living room!
- Ah Ah! … Small lady Sophie, I say… You show that you have character.
She does not understand anything but takes my hand that I hold out to her.
- Have you had your dinner, I ask?
- Not yet
- So I take you along.
When I pass in front of the Professor while pushing his niece in front of me, I tell him:
- Tomorrow 2 p.m. in your office at the laboratory… I need to ask you questions.
The door opens in front of us two. The dog holds the card of Police out to me. I shrug my shoulders and do not take it… The presentations are done… What to do with a card of cop when one is Murderer being duly licensed and all the rest…
Then the two guys are dumbstruck to look at us to get going by the central alley.
Sophie shouts while turning the head towards the house.
- Victor, open the gate!
I laugh. She laughs. She whistles in front of the Jag.
- But it is not a car for cop, she says.
- Of course! I say… didn't I tell you that I was a murderer?
- That you « murder », yes… But not that you were a murderer! « no ».
-You know, each one is killer a little bit in his own way, I say half-heartedly.
-I also believe, she confirmed… and I believe that I have killed.
- I also believe, I say.
- I believe in you, she says.
- That it is not well, I say.
- Why? She says.
- We must only believe in ourself, I say.
- But we must know « who » we are, she says.
- It is the most difficult to know, I confirm.
- Then how we can do?
- By taking the problem by the beginning, I say while rolling gently in the streets of Paname which start to be emptied. People are in a hurry to put themselves warm.
- And which is this beginning, she asks as a perfect scientist who does not lose the thread of his logic.
- Like you, this evening, I say.
- Like me ? … I do not understand…
- You have told the « truth ».
- But I always tell the truth!
- No, you tell the one which satisfies you… I say.
- Or the one which does not disturb too the others, she continued on my impetus.
She starts to understand and she follows. We will be able to work deep together.
- I now understand what you say… This evening I said a truth which disturbs.
- And you have invited me for dinner to protect me against myself.
- You have thought that you away, I were going to have a bad time with my uncle.
- And you did not believe me strong enough to resist and not to retrogress.
- I was then carried by a Force in me which was like a great burst of laughter… You know ?
- It is you, this Force which ran in my heart ?
- But you have believed that I could not defend it alone ?
- Why ? she asks while turning frankly towards me.
- Because truth makes live truth… but that takes time…
- It is like a small child whom one breast-feed ? She says.
- I have often felt that in my dreams.
- But in the ordinary life I am wedged… It is as if I could not « say » what however I know to have « to say » or « to make ».
- It is that, I say.
- What cannot I say?
- You cannot say « no ».
- I understand… It is the truth and I know it… But in the action I am unable to say it this « no »… Why?
- Because you came on the Earth of the Men « to link »… Not to separate.
- I do not understand, she says.
- That does not do anything.
- Because it is the body which can say this « no »… Not the spirit.
- Then how do I have to do ?
- You do not have anything to do.
- I do not understand, she says.
- It is better thus.
- Because your brain would recover the information and would distill it in its memory… and thus you will lose the Force of Life which you can receive while saying quite simply « no ».
- To only say « no ».
- And this Force of which you speak will work all alone.
- Yes… It is like building step by step another house in our old house.
- We live on two plans ?
- I have often perceived that in my dreams.
- It is well, I say.
- I know that you tell the truth.
- It is well.
- I am glad to be a little with you during this investigation.
- It is well.
She slips in the leather seat of the Jag which smells good.
- Where will we eat? She asks.
- Where you want.
- I choose ?
- Thank you.
The wheels make a small sucking noise on the wet macadam. I like this noise and I take my time.
Sophie cries gently. Space opens. Her heart too.
She chooses a popular brewery in the district of the covered Markets. She comes back on « being there for union and not for separation ».
- What does that want to say? She asks after the starters.
- That does not want to say anything in oneself, I say.
- It is thus a reference to something?
- To what ?
- To the energy structure of the body… The spirit belonging to the body, I say.
- It is what, this structure?
- It is your first communications tools with you and the others.
- More explanations, she asks pensive… You know, I am scientist! … Even if I feel in me the truth of what you say I need to understand with my intelligence.
- Intelligence is also very relative, I say while smiling.
- Ah yes ? she answers tit for tat while frowning ironic… Do not forget that I am biologist specialist of the brain, my dear Superintendent.
- Then as scientist you know that all will depend on the point of view where we place ourself and that the obviousness of the conclusion will settle and be justified in its space of obviousness.
- Any true mathematician knows that, she says… Nothing is objective and all is relative… That I know it… But what comes to do in that your « energy structure like first tool of communication » ?
- It is simple… That is done at the time of your creation.
- When your body is made up in « matter » if you prefer.
- Do not understand, she says.
- Then let us take the problem by the other end.
- Which is?
- Death does not exist.
- Only physical death exists… There is no energy death.
- And the energy body wanting to take again a physical body undertakes to life… a generality of life and of action and of behavior. We can call that a « plan of life ».
- And when the physical body is constituted, it does it according to a particular energy structure so that it is a tool suitable for this commitment « plan of life ».
- And it is this structure of the body which leads the movements reflexes of the daily life? if I follow you well.
-It is that…roughly.
- It is then that « the obviousness » of the behavior intervenes which is located compared to the space of obviousness the first commitment of the plan of life.
- You get it quickly! … Congratulations!
- You are also a curious police officer.
- I said to you that I was a killer.
- No, you initially said me that you « murder »… then that you are a « murderer »… but not yet « a killer ».
- You have a cold logic which I like.
- Thank you… But you are « killer » of what? Mister the Superintendent if my question is not indiscreet.
- Of the lie, I make without laughing.
- Hon Hon… that I believe it easily… I feel it in all the fibers of my body which you are hustling like a lover.
- Ah Ah, I say.
- Hon Hon, she says…
Then she adds while looking at me right in the eyes.
- You give me the desire for being touched by you.
- Normal, I say in all modesty.
- Because it is the first time of your life which one really enters in communication with you without imposing you something.
- It is true! … I feel it thus… like a trust…
The main dish arrives and I attack with vigour.
The hours since my departure of the monastery cumulate and I feel tiredness to gain my body bit by bit.
- Cease, says Heidi.
Tong looks at her astonished. A long text continues under his eyes. Heidi does not want to hear it now?
- I have a beginning of answer to my problem, she says … I must remain with it this evening and let it live in my body.
- What is this beginning of answer, asked the long monk.
- The energetic structure she says …
- But the Young White has never spoken about it to us!
- No, she says the forehead folded on her memories… He has never spoken of it.
- Then, what to do?
She has remained quiet for long minutes then she raised the forehead and looked at the monk opposite.
- Tomorrow I will speak to the Master.
- Of the structure?
- Why? … He is not your friend.
- He is not my enemy, she says gently while folding the eyes.
- I do not understand you!
- Him also has a structure … The one « to teach »!
- I will cause his structure and he will give me what I want of him.
- But he will be conscious of it and will refuse.
- Yes, he will be conscious of it but will not refuse.
- Because he is curious and loves the Men… He will thus give me what I ask him… and will observe me like an animal of laboratory.
Tong looked at it lengthily and says:
- What a long way you have made since you left the forest drawing the sledge of the young White.
There was amazement in his voice of man who looks at a true woman in her search for total freedom.
- It is my last Challenge, she says.
Then she closed the eyes and fell asleep against the wood wall of the bedroom of the young White. It is the long monk who laid her down on her bed and prepared her. He liked to raise her in his arms and to feel her heart beating against his chest.
He drew the covers until under her chin and he withdrew slowly.
He left her with a peaceful breath of the one who has entered an other Dimension than the one of the ordinary man.
He reached his bedroom in the principal building of the monastery and had trouble falling asleep.
Hiro saw him crossing the small garden of the pavilion of the Young White and he felt a sharp pain in the liver.
- There will have fight tomorrow, he says while massaging the ribes.
The moon outside gave its red lights. It will be highly windy tomorrow.