60. Time of the Accounts
Hiro and the three old monks carried sadness in their lungs which whistled in the cold wind of the crests.
The Master supported them with his eyes of kindness. He did not speak to them. His flames said « It is well! »
His breath carried sounds which did not come out of his throat but they heard « We habe been Dignified ».
His steps said his determination on the earth of the men and then resounded in their tired legs « Always right and standing up! ».
His silences pushed the mountain to roar « To die standing up and happy! »
And the ice of the crests said its tearing when Creation is wounded and that Bam does not want to be coupled with Yam.
That carried them to sit down with the other monks in the main Temple and to link their breathings.
It is a young monk who gave again confidence to them. He says, while looking at them: « How you are beautiful! …. You radiate the Buddha! »
And the young person went down on his knees in front of them and struck three times his forehead on the frozen floor.
The Earth resounded in their bones and the shiver of the life which returns made them warm under the heavy clothing of the winter.
The other monks looked at. They were in the refectory and the smoking bowls were on the tables. Standing up, they bent forward. They confirmed.
Then the four old men took again their smile and the monks felt a lead weight leaving their shoulders, because these old men were the pillars of this place of inner silence.
When they were not well, the harmony was broken!
Thus all is linked! … And it is the heart of the young monk, hardly fifteen years, which said it to them.
The others, the oldest, were in the clothes of the propriety.
They had lost spontaneity.
Hiro approached the young person and he put his hand on his head.
He says: « It is well ! »
The monk did not know why, but heat ran in his bones and his shaven cranium tingled with life; he wanted to scrape his scalp!
The Master of Combat says, and he looked at him in the depth of his eyes:
- It is necessary to know to awake God and the dead!
They understood in their heart and Hiro showed them the bowls of smoking soup:
- Take also this food… And do not waste it while waiting… There is inside perhaps more love of Buddha than in your meditations when you sleep.
They took their place and only the noise of their suction filled up the space which was full with kindness.
Heidi had suffering in the lungs and cough accompanied her days.
Sitting in front of the Master, she says simply, as a sigh of child who does not know any more what is true, what is false:
- We have lost, says Heidi.
- No… It is the Force to save the Man who has lost his combat, says the Master, leaning against the wood wall of his room.
He looked older to the young woman. He supported her look and he smiles to her:
- Your look is the one of an old woman who has lost… Then you see only the old man in me, he says while accentuating his smile.
Heidi closed her eyes to this look. She did not want that her sight can be conditioned thus by her emotions. Because she was full with emotions and the night was terrible!
- Thus you can still better understand in your heart the Combat of my son and of the Universe, he says.
His smile stretched the lips towards the ears. He looks like a Buddha, thus, she told herself while looking at him filled with wonder. She does not cease being surprised by this little old man who has a resource of strength which does not let itself be killed.
- A combat ?
- Yes, my daughter… Haven’t you understood yet that it is a permanent combat in this universe of the Men ?
She had understood that… But her heart did not want to accept this fact… Then she sought.
- But there exists well a place, a space without war!
The Roshi stretched more his lips which joined his ears.
He saw his effort to mask the obviousnesses.
He does not say anything, he does not say anything to her! …
These words grew bigger in his heart but did not pass the lips: « How the structure is powerful to be opposed to what is not it ! »
- No… Not in this Universe… Not now anymore, says the old man in sadness.
- Is it thus always the war ?
- Yes… More or less visible, because more or less violent, but it is always the war in Bam and Yam, which are the two Forces which constitute this Universe of the Men.
Silence certified. The birds waited. They could not break this Silence because it did not belong to them.
One needed a man and his power to change this silence into words.
It is Heidi who entered the new dimension of the words understood by the brain.
- It is since the Man separated from Yam, Isn't it, she asked in confirmation ?
- No, says the Master… There has never been separation of Yam…
The words of the Master still opened another space!
He was the Master!
It is the role of the Master to open.
Heidi got out of her depth, step by step.
The Master, in his role of Master, did not allow her to escape when that it is about the Nature of Buddha. The respect must be complete.
- I do not understand any more… It is well Yam which carries the Intelligence of Creation ? asked Heidi.
- Yes… It is him, confirms the Master…
- But ?
- But it is not from it that the Men separated… And it is for that they can continue to transmit to Yam an empty promise to join God one day.
- Then ?
- Then? … It is from Major Bam that they separated… Not from Yam, because they cannot touch Yam which does not have matter… Only Bam is matter and they are Bam by the fact quite simply that they have a body…
The Roshi frowned with concern.
- I thought that you had understood all that, he continued the half-closed eyes, lost on the frozen crests.
- Yes, I had understood it, said Heidi, but it is as if sometimes my brain needed to return to seek confirmations.
He examined the heart of the young woman through her eyes in which he came.
« Her heart blocked! … I must find words which go in her brain and reassure her »
- Your brain is Bam of now, therefore a tool separated from Originel Bam … And it seeks to recover information for it, always and always and always… It believes itself then great and strong… And thus one loses his life with useless and that one day the Messengers of the Death tap you on the shoulder and say to you: « It is your time! »
… And you will say then: « But I have just started to understand something! »
… And they will answer you: « That made seventy five years that you are here. »
… And then in the horror of this comprehension, you will know how your present brain Bam made you turn round, to always seek confirmations after confirmations… Because it is connected only to the memory and the function of the memory is to file.
The mountains gave their light because the sun struck the ice. The light created time for the young girl unhappy in her lungs because sadness shocked her.
- My Angel from here said that it is the memory which has created the archivist to organize and sort out information…
The Roshi chuckled in a small malignant laughter.
- Ah! … Then he may had also told you that without memory, there is no archivist, answered the Master, the eyes always in the crests which took their color of the day with the sun which turned up behind.
Heidi let the jagged laughter to bead its sounds in the silence of the water fault which is called a torrent and which did not give any more its sounds because the ice blocked them.
- Yes… He insisted a lot on that, she says… He said that the archivist is an artificial energetic construction, and that it is dead if we do not seek to retain.
The old man entirely wrinkled accentuated his ironic smile.
- But for that, it is necessary not to function anymore with the analytical brain Bam which cannot do differently but to retain and to classify information… He must have told you that, pushed the Master a little further in the logic of the Universe.
Heidi felt the irony of the Master.
- Yes… He said that to me… she confirmed … And I have then understood in my body that we must use another Intelligence and give up the one resulting from the present Bam… I have felt it in my body!
« Hmmm! … she has felt in her body! »… These words did not go through the throat of the old man glad to hear those of the young woman.
His provocation functioned! … The heart awoke! … But it was still necessary to continue with the brain because she was not yet ready to give it up.
- Because you were with him and he radiated on you… Then, this other Intelligence was active… and it is from this Intelligence that you could understand that… Not from the analytical brain! he says.
- Yes… That I also know it, she says sad… Because after his departure, how it is difficult to be with this Intelligence!
He burst of laughing… She frowned with interrogation. Then he took again the sounds through the throat and the lips.
- No, it is not difficult, he says… It is you which create artificially the combat inside you.
She sought. Her heart told her the truth of these words… but her reason did not follow, like deadened.
- How? she asked.
He pretended the astonishment… He plaid the Master! …He plaid the monkey!
- If you are not in the reasoned and analytical intelligence, you are automatically in the Intuitive Intelligence because it takes the place that your brain gives it… The brain is only one technical tool and it will function with the Force which is the most powerful in your body, says the Master in a long breathing which seemed endless… I thought that you knew that in your body ?
She knew that. She was ashamed of her. But a force pushed her to go still further in the words from the throat and she did not understand why.
- But why at the same time is it so difficult ?
Now he made fun of her so openly, with his eyes looking at the sky and the whistling breathing, that she heard his words like whistles of furious snakes.
- I am disappointed in you, my daughter, says the Roshi while bringing back the eyes on her… What have you understood of all the combat of my son of before ?
- That he was blocked by the desire of security of Sophie, she said… and even that of Yoko…
« Hmmm, her brain functions all the same!... »
- So ? … Why do you ask this idiot question ? he says pretending to be angry… Everyone is similar! … Why do you believe that my son deals with these two women? For their pubic hairs? … I am disappointed in you… You were beside us all this time and you did not understand that the transformation of the energetic body of only one being on Earth, is a transformation of the energetic body of Humanity… Because nothing is separated… Because separation between inside and outside does not exist! … You know that! …
He took again his breath and he gave force in his belly.
Then he put again his eyes on her and he says:
- I have well observed the teachings that my son from here gave you. I have seen that he has taught you the technique of the « Body of Pleasure »… But when you are in this body, it is clear that what is inside is also what is outside! …
He stared at her with more intensity and she had difficulty to support these flames.
- Then, you know that the war against the other is the war against yourself… that each one is thus concerned by each one… that the beauty of the one influences all the others… that the evil deed of the one relates to all the others… So why these roundabout ways in your thought ?
She lowered the forehead and spent some moment in silence. The Master left her her time and she says finally:
- Because I am sad and am lost after this defeat, she says… And it is as if my heart wanted to speak and speak again to put an end to this pain in it… and to dilute it in words.
Only silence was an answer to such a suffering.
- Cease thus to think and to want to understand. There is nothing to understand! … My son of before shows at each breathing that what you believe obvious, is still a misleading appearance because another thing is still behind… and this other thing can be in total contradiction with the first vision… that continuity does not exist! …. He shows it to you at each roundabout way of his breathings… Then cease to turn in round or I will really lose my temper!
Birds opened their throat to say between them the reality of the life which runs.
They gave time to the young woman who had lost courage.
- Why it is the Force to save the Man who has lost, she asked… Why isn't it « us »?
He smiles with the finesse which characterized him when an enthralling subject was shown in front of him.
- Because « we » do not exist by ourselves, says the old man, a large wrinkle between the eyes, which testified to his extreme attention to give the right answer.
This answer shocked the young woman and her forehead wrinkled too.
- But we are « us » to discover us more and more from day to day! … Isn't it the destination of a place like this one ? reacts Heidi.
- No… That is still a relative truth to communicate in the Dimension of Bam… It is necessary well to use words which can be understood by the limited brain, he says.
- Then this place does not have like destination to enter deeply ourself and to find our heart… the Buddha in us?
The Roshi smiles because only smile can be an answer to the true Buddha.
- No… because we do not exist! … We are only one digest of the Body of Humanity… A small digest but which contains everything, he confirmed.
She suffocated and the air did not want to leave her lungs any more.
- But our body will always go in evolution and transformation under the impulse of all our daily spiritual exercises ?
He accentuated his smile which became a suffering.
- No, that is still a lie, says the old man… There is no transformation of the body and of the spirit which is attached to it through these exercises.
- Then I do not understand anything any more, she exclaims!
The Roshi let the cold crests take the silence of the earth; the hard and sharp cold of this small hour gave little place to the birds to show their presence; this cold immobilized everything.
The old man will have to go step by step in the coldness of the brain of the young girl sitting in front of him. She is verging on her analytical comprehensions. The efforts produced these last days to change the course of the old events and their defeat, weighed heavily on her and she was like the frozen crests and the bird inside her did not have much voice.
- At the beginning of the life, at the time of his creation in this reincarnation, man takes a body, he says.
- Yes, she says… That I know it.
- This body is a digest of the energetic body of the humanity « of this moment »…added the Roshi… That you do not really know it…
These words went against her and her brain twisted.
- You want to say that the bodies of human stem from the matter and the vibration of the collective energetic body of humanity, she says dumbfounded!
- Yes… It is that, he confirmed.
She retained some breathings then blew finally few words which left her burst brain.
- But how humans can be so different, even in their body ?
- In their body, they are not very different… There is the difference of the space in which they were conceived compared to the general collective space, he says.
These new sounds increased her distress further. The earth left her feet and the fear started to enter in her.
- I do not follow!
The old man stared at the point of his pupils on the point of her pupils. She was in distress and he was to bring her back to surface… otherwise the sick brain will try to recover everything to make another obviousness which will be the following support to its logic.
- There is the general collective space of humanity, it is the general space… Then in this space, there is under spaces under the karmic influences, i.e. laws of cause and effects… Then each space has « its » characteristics such as the race, the continent, the past, the Country… And it is the condensation of this space, which is an under-space of the energetic body of the humanity, which condenses and constitutes the physical body of the new being at the time of the conception…
Then he made an aside:
- With an additional coloring, if it is about a conception between foreigners very distant from the country of conception.
The brain of the young woman rod this gap because that saved time to it not to meet the body of the main part of the explanations of the Master.
- What makes that these new beings resulting from foreigners have always the impression to be cut into two and to never be at home ? she asked.
The Master smiles. He left her her time because time is necessary to the ordinary brain to sort out information and to organize them in a logic which is its.
- Yes… I go quickly in the explanations because we could examine the numerous possibilities according to the wills of the parents to procreate and also to live in countries very distant from that of their own conception, says the old man…
She took again the breath which did not want to enter. Then he continued:
- I said to you that this body does not belong to us as « us » and is a condensation of the body of the humanity of the particular space of conception.
Again time was her friend. He left her this friend which she needed now.
Then she says:
- But the spirit ?
- It does not belong to us either because it is a condensation of another space beyond Bam, when the energetic body was in the intermediate space after physical death.
- You want to say that it too, it is conditioned and we do not have « individuality » ?
- Our individuality exists, but it is not resulting from these two spaces which have constituted the two engines of the being: the body and the spirit…
Birds took again their songs because space was again for them.
The Master took again the breath of the Void and continued:
- For the spirit, we can approach that later. To understand, you would have to know what death is and what occurs when the energetic body is in the intermediate space… Then let us not lose sight of your first question: the modification of the body… Let us stay with that… Sufficient enough as regards comprehension, he says.
The cold continued its work of coldness and the birds had difficulties to communicate but tried to do their best.
- Then, why this body is not progressive, if I understand well your words ? asked Heidi.
The Roshi smiles.
- Yes, it is progressive… But not in the sense that you say and that you want according to the obviousnesses of your structure… Then you do not perceive its development… You look only at one direction!
Still the obstruction of the structure! … Heidi felt this very active virus in her body. Then, to break its action, she threw herself still in the endless words.
- How is it progressive ?
He still left her time. Perhaps it was necessary to cease this exchange. She was at the end of her elastic limits of her brain which he has caused since the beginning of the meeting.
It is necessary to also know to cease when the attention does not carry any more the Force to the Intuitive Intelligence.
But in his kindness of Master, he still tried a test. He pushed further and gave her the answer that she waited.
- That is a Great Secrecy of the Universe! he says while taking again his deep breathing in order to be certain that the right words will pass his lips.
- Then ? … asked Heidi, impatient.
He gave her the force of the flames of his eyes and he says, while detaching each syllable so that it is printed in the bones of the forehead of the young woman.
- Then ? … Your physical body is a condensation of the energetic Body of Humanity… Thus you are a digest of all what is good, like bad in this body…
- I understand that… It is what you have just said.
He smiles. The brain still functioned!
- But the Great Secrecy of the Universe, it is that your body does not belong to you… It belongs to the collective energetic body and it continues « at every moment » to be a digest of it.
Heidi turns pale and the posture sitting crossed legged was suffering to her. Her body felt the need to lie down on the floor.
The words left her throat but she did not know if they were her words. It seemed to her that these words are inventions of her spirit.
- You want to say that my energetic body is at every moment a digest of the energetic body of humanity ? she says suffocated.
- Yes… It is exactly that, confirms the old man.
Birds left; they were also afraid of the true words which disturbed the order of the habit.
- Then… If I really understand, she continued the eyes widened with stupor… Each day I am new and a representation of the « collective »!
- It is that… says the Master
The breath missed and the wax came on her cheeks.
- And when the body of humanity dives increasingly deep in the shit, there is enough to clean ourself every day! she continued…
The Roshi smiles. Satisfaction slipped into his bones. He had not wasted the Time of Silence which Only, Loves.
- Then you understand which is the permanent combat in the Universe… And the combat of my son of before!
- Yes, I start to seize the intensity of the action and what means: to be in front of our death!
- Then you also seized that there is never an advantage of wining and that to store away comprehensions to make use of them tomorrow is useless…
- Since tomorrow the field of adventure is always changed and that information of before are obsolete, she says… Your son of now has said a lot to me about it but I discover step by step… It thus takes time.
The Roshi leant his back against the wood wall behind him and looked at the young woman.
« Time »! … Still it! … She opened a new door for the spirit. He did not want to engulf himself through this opening. She had tiredness in all her muscles.
She needed the time of her rest.
- Go and rest, my daughter of the mountains of the north… Come back tomorrow.
She slackened her stiff body. The suffering took possession of each muscle. She felt as if she was a small old woman.
She bent herself in front of the Roshi before passing the door.
He followed her heavy steps to descend the wooden steps of the veranda.